The Hardest Thing
by bloodyraven.13
Summary: Why did he do that?Why did he chose the second one?He knows he still loves her and she loves him.He still left,leaving her broken hearted.But after a long while,he came back.But the worst karma struck before he could apologize.. WILL MAKE A SEQUEL


**The Hardest Thing**

**A story almost the same as 'Later'.**

**Why did he do that?Why did he chose the second one?He knows he still loves her and she loves him.He still left,leaving her broken hearted.But after a long while,he came back.But the worst karma struck before he could apologize..**

_**We both know that I shouldn't be here  
This is wrong  
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you  
Both of us trying to be strong **_

_**I've got somewhere else to be  
Promises to keep  
Someone else who loves me  
And trusts me fast asleep**_

**_I've made up my mind  
There is no turning back  
She's been good to me  
And she deserves better than that_**

A couple...a 1 percent almost perfect couple is going to be broken.Why?Natsume Hyuuga has two girls in his life..Mikan Sakura and Luna Koizumi.But of all the girls...he picked Luna.He knows he still loves Mikan but why did he picked Luna.Is this because he loves Luna more than his current girlfriend?

Natsume and Mikan were sitting on the couch,opposite directions,facing each other.Mikan was patiently waiting for Natsume to speak.But nothing escaped his mouth.Until a few minutes..

"Mikan,I have to tell you something.."he said.

"What is it,Natsume?"she asked.

"I want you to know that...I've made up my mind.."he answered.

"About what?"

_**It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
To look you in the eye  
And tell you I don't love you  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
To show no emotion when you start to cry  
**_

"Mikan...I know that we've loved each other for years now.And I know you love me.."

She became confused "Yes,I do.Why are you saying this?Do you have a problem?"

"Listen carefully okay?I've made up my mind."Natsume looked at her in the eye."...I don't love you anymore.."

Mikan's heart suddenly fell into a million pieces.They shared their love for many years now.Why did it have to be like this?She stood up quickly with tears forming in her eyes.

"Natsume,what are you saying!?"she asked,nearly shouting.

"I said I don't love you"he said...with no emotions at all..as if he was not affected.Is he really that cold to her now?..and again?

_**I can't let you see what you mean to me  
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free  
We're not meant to be**_

**_It's the hardest thing I'll ever had to do  
To turn around and walk away  
Pretending I don't love you_**

Natsume stood up.He turned around and grabbed his backpack."We're just not meant to be with each other.."he said."I'm not the perfect man for you and you're not the perfect woman for me.So,let's just start over again as friends and nothing more beyond that line.."he added.

_I'm sorry Mikan..but I have to do this.Luna deserves better..._He thought.He walked away heading towards the door.Mikan ran a bit closer to him.

"Natsume,why are you leaving me!?Did I do something wrong!?"she asked.Natsume stopped on his tracks.

"No,you did nothing wrong.It's just that..I don't love you like the way I feel about you from before.."he answered without looking at her.

"So..YOU'RE LEAVING ME?"

...

"Yes..i'm going to the girl I love and stay with her"with that,he went outside Mikan's house.

_**I know that we'll meet again  
Fate has a place and time  
So you can get on with your life  
I've got to be cruel to be kind**_

**_Like Dr. Zhivago  
All my love I'll be sending  
And you will never know cuz  
There can be no happy ending_**

Mikan's body couldn't move.As much as she wanted to move it,it won't follow her command.But the moment came like someone pushed her from behind and she came running outside her house to look at Natsume.

"Natsume,I love you!"she shouted.But he still didn't look at her.He kept on walking.

_Sorry Mikan...but I have to do this for our own good.I still love you.I know that fate will make us meet again someday.._ he thought. _I couldn't stand seeing you cry.It's hard to remain expressionless while seeing your beautiful face cry.But I have to do this..._

"I'm sorry Mikan..."He whispered to himself and covered his eyes with his bangs.A taxi stopped and he entered it.

Mikan ran after the taxi cab,crying.She couldn't breathe just crying seeing her one and only love go away.She caught up with the taxi and shouted 'I love you' again and again.Her vision was now blurry because of her painful and sorrowful tears.

Natsume heard what Mikan said but not clearly.But he understood what she was saying.He couldn't stop now that he made up his mind.He wanted to hug her so much.He wanted her to stop crying and know that he still loves her.But there's nothing he could do.He made a choice and it was already final.His bangs were still covering his eyes...a tear trickled down his right eye.

"I'm sorry..Mikan..."he said softly."..I love you"he added.

_**It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
To look you in the eye  
And tell you I don't love you  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
To show no emotion when you start to cry **_

_**I can't let you see what you mean to me  
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free  
We're not meant to be**_

**_It's the hardest thing I'll ever had to do  
To turn around and walk away  
Pretending I don't love you_**

_**Maybe another time, another day  
As much as I want to, I can't stay**_

(Ooh)

Mikan's strength of running was rapidly draining.She couldn't run anymore.Her body was giving up.She stopped.Her knees felt like it was going to break down.She fell on her knees slowly and cried on her palms.

"Natsume...p-please...co-come back.."she sobbed."..Please.."

Back at Natsume,he at the rear view mirror with an expressionless face.But there's a trace of a tear drop on his right cheek.He saw Mikan crying...alone and heartbroken.It was a wrong move.But he still kept on leaving her.Even though he was hurt just seeing her cry for him to come back...it didn't budge him to go to her and apologize and say sorry.He already has a decision..thinking that Mikan would move on without him.

It was the hardest decision he made.But even though how hard it is..you have to make a decision.But should the answer be hurried?Especially at times like this?Decisions at this situation needs to be thought carefully..but did he thought about what Mikan feel and do before he made the decision?

_**I've made up my mind  
There is no turning back  
She's been good to me  
And she deserves better than that**_

**_It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
To look you in the eye  
And tell you I don't love you  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
To show no emotion when you start to cry_**

**_I can't let you see what you mean to me  
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free  
We're not meant to be_**

**_It's the hardest thing I'll ever had to do  
To turn around and walk away  
Pretending I don't love you_**

_**I don't want to live a lie  
What can I do **_

_I've made up my mind..I won't go back.This is my choice..I know I have hurted your feelings now.._ he thought. _But my decision can't be changed.I still love you but if I have said that,I know you won't let go of me and won't move on.And I won't be able to leave.._ he thought to himself as if he was really to talking to her.

_It's not that I'm not affected.It's just that..I have to show no emotions so I wouldn't be affected.But I guess you were too hurt than what I had expected..and that makes me sad to see your angelic face tainted with those sorrowful tears I caused..and also because of that,I have to leave so you wouldn't cry anymore.. _he thought,still looking at the rear view mirror.

**6 months later...**

Natsume walked at the side walks.He was carrying his backpack,hanging on his shoulders.He was walking on the same path where he used to walk.Wonder what path?The same path towards Mikan's house.But..for all we know he was with Luna Koizumi.Why is he walking towards Mikan's house?

He stopped in front of Mikan's door and rang the door bell.After a few rings,the door opened and revealed a raven haired guy with a tattoo on his left eye.Natsume went curious.Why would there be a guy inside Mikan's house?

"Huh?Who are you?"The two boys asked each other at the same time.

"You go first"Natsume said quickly.He wanted to know who is this guy inside HIS Mikan's apartment.

"Uhh..I'm Tsubasa Andou.Do you need something?"The raven haired boy asked.

"Yes,and I need Sakura Mikan this instant.."Natsume answered.

Tsubasa arched a brow in confusion.Why?

"Huh?Sakura Mikan?But she doesn't live here anymore"Tsubasa said.

Natsume's expressionless face turned into a death glare "What do you mean 'Not here anymore'?" he asked...almost out of patience.

Tsubasa's confused look turned more confused "Huh?Didn't she told you?"he asked.Natsume was all ears now."She left for america 4 months ago.."Tsubasa said.Natsume went depressed."Because her parents arranged her a matched marriage.I heard that she also hated that match marraige.."Tsubasa added."..And I also,she died because of depression.."he said.This made Natsume's eyes widen in shock.

...

Mikan...DIED?

"WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN,ANDOU!?"Natsume pinned Tsubasa on the door while clutching on his collar.

Tsubasa sweated and became nervous "Eh-eh...sh-she died one month ago.Didn't someone told you?I heard you're her boyfriend"he said.

Natsume loosen his grip on Tsubasa's collar and turned away from his and bowed his head,his bangs covering his face.

"..That was before she left for america.I broke up with her.."

Tsubasa sighed and leaned his back on the door "I see...but why didn't no one tell you?.."

"I don't know...Ruka should've told me.."Natsume answered."...Wait.How did you know this happenings about Mikan anyway?"

"Ah well,she's my friend's best friend's friend"Tsubasa answered."I know,it's complicating.I just knew them from Koko,who's best friends with Anna who's friends with Nonoko who's best friends with Mikan"he explained further.

"So it's Ogasawara huh.."

Tsubasa sighed "You know what kid...Mikan died because of too much depression.I think the both of us knows the reason.."he said.

**(Insert background music of 'The hardest thing' song)**

"Tch...whatever.Just leave me alone..I'm going.."Natsume walked away,still bowing.

Thunder was heard.Then soon,it started to rain hard.This made Natsume wet.But he didn't cared about it..

_Tsubasa sweated and became nervous "Eh-eh...sh-she died one month ago.Didn't someone told you?I heard you're her boyfriend"he said._

_"..That was before she left for America.I broke up with her.."_

_Tsubasa sighed "You know what kid...Mikan died because of too much depression.I think the both of us knows the reason.."_

Natsume looked at the dark rain clouds."..Yeah.I know the reason..."he said to himself."...It's me..I'm the reason.."

"...This...This is harder than choosing a hard decision.The hardest thing I have to accept..."he said."...She's gone before I could even apologize.Now I realize..I made the biggest mistake of lying to her.I knew I still love her...but i'm too stupid to realize the real answer.."

"..I'm hurrying the answers.Like the old people say..Nothing good happens when you hurry.."tears fell from his eyes,full of regret and sorrow.

"I'm so stupid...I shouldn't have left her.She loves me and I love her..but what did I do?..I just hurt her."He whispered to himself regretfully."I have no right to receive your sweet smile.I'm the one who should've died.."

His phone rang.He picked it up and answered it.

_"Hey Natsume,"_

"..Ruka.."

_"Natsume,I heard you came back.I'm glad"_

"...Hn" was just his reply.

_"I guess you already heard huh?"_Ruka said,depressed.

Natsume closed his eyes and frowned at himself and said,"Yeah,I did.Andou Tsubasa told me.The one who lives in Mikan's apartment now.."

_"I see..Well,it's not that Mikan's really dead."_Ruka said with a hint of a bit of relief in his voice.

Natsume narrowed his eyes just hearing what Ruka told him."What do you mean,Ruka?.."

_"Well..Mikan's just in a comatose.You could say she's dead but..she really isn't dead"_Ruka explained.

"Thanks for the info,Ruka"Natsume said with a bit of a hint of relief."Do you know what hospital in America she's staying in?"

_"Yeah but,she's here in Japan now.She's staying inside this hospital.."_Ruka told him.

"Okay,thanks.Later"Natsume hung up his phone.He looked up at the sky.

It was dark but there was a hole where the sun shone through.He stared at it with a small relieved smile."I'm coming for you..Mikan"he said then ran away.

**END**

**Well...You could say it's a..cliffhanger..heheh.Anyways,is it satisfying?Is it bad?Is it the worst?Is it good enough?Or just plain average?...Well,I know one thing..it's a bit of dramatic but tragic.Makes you nearly cry,don't it?Hahah..anyways,send me a review and wish me luck for the long test.THANKS EVERYONE!!**

**Ja,**

**bloodyraven.13 (-SerenityAkista-)**


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